Cromartievania
by FARTYFARTMCPOOPPOOP
Summary: All is normal at Cromartie High School until Kamiyama finds a mysterious whip-wielder in his locker. Enjoy this two-part story.
1. Chapter 1

Cromartievania – Part One

It was an average day at Cromartie High School. It was an average day like any other day, if you consider seeing a gorilla and a guy who looks a lot like Freddie Mercury at your school. Let's not forget that occasional UFO that hovers in the sky. Some would consider that normal.

Takashi Kamiyama, local badass, was strolling through the halls with his best friend Hayashida, going about his day like usual.

"Are you feeling a weird vibe today?" asked Hayashida.

"What are you talking about?" Kamiyama responded.

"Well, I'm not sure how to explain this." Hayashida looked toward the ground. His had a stern look on his face.

"Is this about your hair again?" Kamiyama inquired. "I think we all know about that already."

"It's not that. There's just a weird feeling in the school today. You know, like that feeling you get when you know you're about to get a test back that you know is a fail?"

"Like that feeling you get when you open your locker and something unexpected jumps out of it?"

"Uh…" Hayashida paused briefly. "Maybe not like that, but…"

"Well, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You probably just ate something bad this morning!"

"I skipped breakfast."

"Maybe you're about to fail a class!" Kamiyama put his hand on Hayashida's shoulder. "It's okay buddy! I'm supposed to be at a class right now! But here I am, strolling down the hall with my good friend!"

"Thanks. I think."

"Think? I know. And believe me, I know a lot!" Kamiyama approached his locker. He put in his combination, and to his surprise, a strange character fell out of his locker. Kamiyama jumped back.

"Is that a guy?" Hayashida asked.

"It would seem so." Kamiyama said. "The real question here is…Where is my backpack?"

"I think there are more important things going on right now! A guy just fell out of your locker! We don't even know who he is! Why does he have a whip? He's going to hurt us!"

Kamiyama punched Hayashida square in his face.

"Listen," Kamiyama exclaimed, "I don't hit people often, but when I do, it's usually for a good reason. There's no reason to fret. If he wanted us dead, we'd already be dead."

The strange man opened his eyes. He slowly got to his feet.

"Where am I?" the man asked.

"You are at a high school. My name is Takashi Kamiyama, and this is my friend Hayashida. Who are you?"

"My name is Simon Belmont" the man stated. "I'm come from a family of vampire killers. It is our destiny to rid the world of Dracula's evil reign."

"How did you end up in Kamiyama's locker?" Hayashida asked.

"I'll ask the questions!" Kamiyama exclaimed. "Besides, I have a better way with words!" He paused, and then looked at Simon. "How did you end up in my locker?"

"It was a trick of Dracula's." he answered. "He opened a hole in the sky and it sucked me in. This must be where it took me." He looked at Kamiyama. "I must ask of you…Can you help me return to Dracula's castle?"

"Of course!" Kamiyama shouted.

"WHAT???" Hayashida yelped. "We don't know how to open a hole in the sky! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?"

"Listen!" Kamiyama proclaimed. "We are going to help this man out! I don't care if it kills us!" Kamiyama raised his fist. "It is my destiny…I can feel it!"

Akira Maeda, another fellow delinquent and good friend of Kamiyama's, was walking down the hall minding his own business when he saw the new strange new fellow standing there with a whip in his hand.

"Oh my God!" Maeda yelled. "Who the hell are you?"

"This is Simon." Kamiyama replied. "We're trying to help him return to Dracula's castle so he can defeat the evil vampire!"

"Well" Maeda started, "How do you propose to do that? Wasn't Dracula from Transylvania? And this guy doesn't look like he's even from this time period!"

"Yeah." Hayashida said, "What year are you from?"

"1691." Simon replied.

"I see." Hayashida looked at Kamiyama. Kamiyama nodded. "I suppose we can help you pull this off!"

"There's only one problem with that." Maeda said. "We don't know how to travel in time! I know I don't! DO YOU!?" Maeda looked directly at Kamiyama. Kamiyama stood very still for exactly ten minutes.

"Of course not." Kamiyama replied. Maeda fell on his face. "We may not know how to travel in time, but we know how to help a person in need. And that, my friend, is exactly what we are going to do!" Kamiyama looked out the window to his left. An image of an old man appeared in the sky, and then disappeared.

"Alright then!" said Hayashida. "Let's do this!"

"We should probably get some help then." Maeda stated. "I don't think the three of us are enough for a job like this."

Suddenly a man with a nearly uncanny resemblance to Freddie Mercury rode through the halls on a large horse. It was indeed the man everyone called Freddie. He got stepped down from his horse, and approached the gang.

"Maybe he can help us!" Kamiyama said. Freddie gave Kamiyama thumbs up. "Right on Freddie. Right on."

TO BE CONTINUED


	2. Chapter 2

"My name is Yutaka Takenouchi. I'm the leader of the first-year students here at Cromartie High School. There isn't a person in this school that can take me on! The only problem I have is that I get motion sickness very easily. There's been a lot of talk about a new guy at our school. I hear he's a real badass. I'll have to see for myself!"

Takenouchi made his way into the building, determined to see the new character that had mysteriously appeared in Kamiyama's locker. He marched through the halls of Cromartie High, searching the rooms for Simon Belmont. No luck.

"Well, where the hell could he be?" Takenouchi thought. "All of this talk about the guy and I can't even find him! I just want to fudging punch something!" He made a fist so tense that his nails were digging into his palm. He then proceeded to punch a random first-year walking down the hallway, minding his own business.

--

Meanwhile, Kamiyama, Hayashida, Maeda, Freddie, and Simon Belmont were behind Cromartie High School. Kamiyama and Hayashida were staring at the sky intently, devising a plan to open a hole in the sky to return Simon home. Simon was sitting on the ground, meditating, trying to clear his mind of the recent trauma that occurred. Maeda was busy trying to pry Freddie's horse's mouth from his head.

"Damn it Freddie!" Maeda yelled. "Get your horse off of me!" Freddie, who was on the back of the horse, gave a thumb up, and attempted to pull the horse away from poor Maeda's head.

"Hm…" Kamiyama started. "How would one go about opening a hole in the sky?"

"Maybe if we stare at the sky longer, a hole will randomly appear." Hayashida replied. "You know, like a random time rift in the universe somewhere!"

"I don't think we have the time for that." Kamiyama said. "We have to get this man home so he can destroy Dracula and save the world!"

"Doesn't this all seem a bit too impractical?" Maeda asked after finally breaking free from Freddie's horse.

"Not in the least bit!" Kamiyama replied. "If he got here through a hole in the sky, then we can definitely get him back the same way!"

"Look," Maeda started, "Dracula has supernatural powers. We don't!!! We are students at a high school for delinquents! We barely have futures, let alone super-human powers capable of creating time rifts!"

There was a long, awkward pause. Kamiyama looked to the sky. The image of the old man appeared, and left as fast as it came. Simon opened his eyes. He got up and walked towards the students, who were struggling to help him return to his own time period.

"Listen," Simon started, "I can't thank you enough for assisting me in my return home, but I think I can manage on my own."

"Are…you sure?" Hayashida asked.

"I am positive." Simon responded. "The power f this whip has taken me through even the most difficult circumstances. I'm sure it will guide me the right way."

"If you insist." Kamiyama said. "Just be careful out there."

"Thank you for your kindness, all of you." Simon began walking away from the group when Yutaka Takenouchi finally caught up to him. He approached the whip-wielder with a devious grin on his face.

"So you're the new badass everyone is talking about!" Takenouchi said. "For a badass, you sure dress funny! Haha, I think I could take you!"

"And, who might you be?" Simon asked.

"My name is Yutaka Takenouchi! I'm the leader of the first years here at Cromartie High School! I heard you were a tough guy, so I figured I'd find out for myself!"

"So, you want to fight me?" Simon clenched his hand around the sacred whip that was passed down from his family. "So be it!"

"Be careful Simon!" Kamiyama said. "He's not one to be taken lightly!"

"I have this one under control." Simon said, removing the whip from his belt. "The might of House Belmont descends upon you!!!"

"What the hell?" Takenouchi yelled. At this point, there were many thoughts soaring through his mind. Five seconds later, the only thought going through his head was the fact that he was wrapped up in the legendary Vampire Killer whip. "How in the hell did I get tangled up in this so fast???"

Simon Belmont, who now had Takenouchi in his grasp, began to pull the whip back toward him. He began unraveling the whip, spinning Takenouchi like a top.

"Oh no!" Takenouchi exclaimed. "He's spinning me! This is not good! My motion sickness is going to kick in! I'm screwed!" Takenouchi was spinning violently, round and round, until the whip finally let loose. He kept on spinning, until Simon gave one final crack of the whip and sent Takenouchi flying over the school. The old man in the sky appeared once more.

"Wow!" Hayashida exclaimed. "That was amazing! I can't wait to tell everybody what I just saw! You seriously are the number one badass at Cromartie High School!"

Freddie, perched upon his wild horse, gave two thumbs up before riding off into the sunset. Kamiyama studied his surroundings, and noticed that something was missing.

"Guys," Kamiyama started, "I don't think we should celebrate so soon. Something is missing."

"You're right." Simon said. "Your yellow-haired friend is missing."

"Uh-oh" Hayashida said. "I think Maeda was kidnapped again while we were caught up in the fight.

"He could be in the bathroom!" Kamiyama said. At that moment Kamiyama noticed a piece of paper lying on the ground. He reached down, picked it up, and unfolded the paper. It read:

We have your friend. Come and get him if you dare  
~Bass High School

"Damn!" Kamiyama exclaimed. "Bass High has Maeda again." He looked at Simon. "Hey, before you leave, do you think you can help us get our friend back?"

"It would be my pleasure." Simon replied. "You have helped me out in my situation, it is only fitting that I return the favor."

"Then it's settled!" Hayashida said. "Let's teach Bass High a lesson!" Kamiyama, Hayashida, and Simon headed toward Bass High to take on the students and rescue their friend Maeda.

TO BE CONTINUED


End file.
